Original Text: 
Don Marquis, Noah an' Jonah an' Cap'n John Smith: A Book of Humorous Verse (New York: D. Appleton, 1921): 102-03. PS 3525 A797N6 Robarts Library
1The things that I can't have I want
2    And what I have seems second-rate,
3The things I want to do I can't
4    And what I have to do I hate,
5    The things I want at once come late,
7    I'm really in an awful state,
8My life is like a scrambled egg.
9If I should order elephant
10    They'd put a camel on my plate,
11If I should seek a wealthy aunt
12    A poor old uncle'd be my fate,
13    If I should say, "You amputate
14My foot, and bring a wooden peg,"
15    They'd probably cut off my pate;
16My life is like a scrambled egg.
17The things I want most of are scant,
18    The girls I really love won't mate,
19The times when rage would make me rant
20    My larynx won't articulate;
21    Should I arrange some morn at eight
22To beat my brains out with my leg
23    I'd probably forget the date;
24My life is like a scrambled egg.
25The simplest matters won't come straight,
26    For once I wooed a maid named Meg
27And very nearly married Kate;
28    My life is like a scrambled egg.


6] gleg: sharp, smart. Back to Line
RPO poem Editors: 
Ian Lancashire
RPO Edition: