Town Eclogues: Tuesday; St. James's Coffee-House

Original Text: 
Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, Six Town Eclogues. With some other Poems (London: M. Cooper, 1747): 9-14. British Library 11631.g.10. ESTC reel 2908 no. 5
1SILLIANDER and PATCH. THOU so many favours hast receiv'd,
2Wondrous to tell, and hard to be believ'd,
3Oh ! H---- D, to my lays attention lend,
4Hear how two lovers boastingly contend ;
5Like thee successful, such their bloomy youth,
6Renown'd alike for gallantry and truth.
7St. JAMES's bell had toll'd some wretches in,
8(As tatter'd riding-hoods alone could sin)
9The happier sinners now their charms put out,
10And to their manteaus their complexions suit :
11The opera queens had finish'd half their faces,
12And city-dames allready taken places ;
13Fops of all kinds to see the Lion, run ;
14The beauties stay till the first act's begun,
15And beaux step home to put fresh linen on.
16No well-dress'd youth in coffee-house remain'd,
17But pensive PATCH, who on the window lean'd ;
18And SILLIANDER, that alert and gay,
19First pick'd his teeth, and then began to say.
20SILLIANDER. Why all these sighs ? ah ! why so pensive grown ?
21Some cause there is that thus you sit alone.
22Does hapless passion all this sorrow move ?
23Or dost thou envy where the ladies love ?
24PATCH. If, whom they love, my envy must pursue,
25'Tis sure, at least, I never envy You.
26SILLIANDER. No, I'm unhappy, You are in the right,
27'Tis You they favour, and 'tis Me they slight.
28Yet I could tell, but that I hate to boast,
29A club of ladies where 'tis Me they toast.
30PATCH. Toasting does seldom any favour prove ;
31Like us, they never toast the thing they love.
32A certain Duke one night my health begun ;
33With chearful pledges round the room it run,
34Till the young SILVIA press'd to drink it too,
35Started, and vow'd she knew not what to do :
36What, drink a fellow's health ! she dy'd with shame :
37Yet blush'd whenever she pronounc'd my name.
38SILLIANDER. Ill fates pursue me, may I never find
39The dice propitious, or the ladies kind,
40If fair Miss FLIPPY's fan I did not tear,
41And one from me she condescends to wear.
42PATCH. Women are always ready to receive ;
43'Tis then a favour when the sex will give.
44A lady (but she is too great to name)
45Beauteous in person, spotless is her fame,
46With gentle strugglings let me force this ring ;
47Another day may give another thing.
48SILLIANDER. I cou'd say something -- see this billet-doux --
49And as for presents -- look upon my shoe --
50These buckles were not forc'd, nor half a theft,
51But a young Countess fondly made the gift.
52PATCH. My Countess is more nice, more artful too,
53Affects to fly that I may fierce pursue :
54This snuff-box which I begg'd, she still deny'd,
55And when I strove to snatch it, seem'd to hide ;
56She laugh'd and fled, and as I sought to seize,
57With affectation cramm'd it down her stays :
58Yet hop'd she did not place it there unseen,
59I press'd her breasts, and pull'd it from between.
60SILLIANDER. Last night, as I stood ogling of her Grace,
61Drinking delicious poison from her face,
62The soft enchantress did that face decline,
63Nor ever rais'd her eyes to meet with mine ;
64With sudden art some secret did pretend,
65Lean'd cross two chairs to whisper to a friend,
66While the stiff whalebone with the motion rose,
67And thousand beauties to my sight expose.
68PATCH. Early this morn -- (but I was ask'd to come)
69I drank bohea in CÆLIA's dressing-room :
70Warm from her bed, to me alone within,
71Her night-gown fasten'd with a single pin ;
72Her night-cloaths tumbled with resistless grace,
73And her bright hair play'd careless round her face ;
74Reaching the kettle, made her gown unpin,
75She wore no waistcoat, and her shift was thin.
76SILLIANDER. See TITIANA driving to the park,
77Hark ! let us follow, 'tis not yet too dark ;
78In her all beauties of the spring are seen,
79Her cheeks are rosy, and her mantle green.
80PATCH. See, TINTORETTA to the opera goes !
81Haste, or the crowd will not permit our bows ;
82In her the glory of the heav'ns we view,
83Her eyes are star-like, and her mantle blue.
84SILLIANDER. What colour does in CÆLIA's stockings shine ?
85Reveal that secret, and the prize is thine.
86PATCH. What are her garters ! tell me if you can ;
87I'll freely own thee for the happier man.
88Thus PATCH continued his heroic strain,
89While SILLIANDER but contends in vain.
90After a conquest so important gain'd,
91Unrival'd PATCH in ev'ry ruelle reign'd.
Publication Start Year: 
RPO poem Editors: 
Ian Lancashire
RPO Edition: 
RPO 1998-2000.