You are Old, Father William
Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (New York: D. Appleton and Co., 1866): 63-66. [First American edition.] Brabant Carroll Collection C37 A44 1866 Fisher Rare Book Library.
2 "And your hair has become very white;
3And yet you incessantly stand on your head --
4 Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
5"In my youth," father William replied to his son,
6 "I feared it would injure the brain;
7But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
8 Why, I do it again and again."
9"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,
10 And have grown most uncommonly fat;
11Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door --
12 Pray, what is the reason of that?"
13"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
14 "I kept all my limbs very supple
15By the use of this ointment -- one shilling the box --
16 Allow me to sell you a couple."
17"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
18 For anything tougher than suet;
19Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak --
20 Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
21"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
22 And argued each case with my wife;
23And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
24 Has lasted the rest of my life."
25"You are old," said the youth; one would hardly suppose
26 That your eye was as steady as ever;
27Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose --
28 What made you so awfully clever?"
29"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
30 Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
31Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
32 Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"
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