Stans Puer ad Mensam
Laughter from a Cloud, foreword by Hilary Raleigh (London: Constable, 1923): 205-06. British Library 012273.bbb.7
2 And you shall learn from me
3How boys at dinner may behave
4 With due propriety.
5Guard well your hands: two things have been
6 Unfitly used by some;
7The trencher for a tambourine,
8 The table for a drum.
9We could not lead a pleasant life,
10 And 'twould be finished soon,
11If peas were eaten with the knife,
12 And gravy with the spoon.
13Eat slowly: only men in rags
14 And gluttons old in sin
15Mistake themselves for carpet bags
16 And tumble victuals in.
17The privy pinch, the whispered tease,
18 The wild, unseemly yell --
19When children do such things as these,
20 We say, "It is not well."
21Endure your mother's timely stare,
22 Your father's righteous ire,
23And do not wriggle on your chair
24 Like flannel in the fire.
25Be silent: you may chatter loud
26 When you are fully grown,
27Surrounded by a silent crowd
28 Of children of your own.
29If you should suddenly feel bored
30 And much inclined to yawning,
31Your little hand will best afford
32 A modest useful awning.
33Think highly of the Cat: and yet
34 You need not therefore think
35That portly strangers like your pet
36 To share their meat and drink.
37The end of dinner comes ere long
38 When, once more full and free,
39You cheerfully may bide the gong
40 That calls you to your tea.
1] Stans puer ad mensam: "the boy standing at the table," a verse work by John Lydgate on table manners. Back to Line
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