Poetical Epistle to Mrs. Green
The Olio: being a Collection of Essays, Dialogues, Letters, Biographical Sketches, Anecdotes, Pieces of Poetry, Parodies, Bon Mots, Epigrams, Epitaphs, &c. Chiefly Original. By the Late Francis Grose (London: S. Hooper, 1792): 104. 7720.d.685 Cambridge University Library
1Hoping no offence, my dear Madam Green,
2You're surely the strangest gentlewoman that ever was seen;
3Didn't you say you'd come and see my drawings, and eat some of my plumb cake,
4Here I've kept it above a week, and all for your sake,
5And now it's as hard as a stone, and not worth a pin,
6To waste so fine a cake is I'm sure both a shame and a sin.
7Besides, I've staid at home waiting for you morning after morning,
8But I shan't do so again, and of that I now give you warning.
9Indeed I consider this matter in a very serious light,
10And you yourself can't say, it was at all behaving right:
11So if you don't come very soon, by way of amends,
12I can assure you, you and I will not be much longer friends:
13But when you come, don't bring any of your brats,
14For I hate little children as much as you do cats.
15So hoping that of engagements in future you'll be more observant,
16I am, Madam, your most obedient humble servant.
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