Robert Burns (1759-1796)
The Holy Fair
A note of seeming truth and trust
Hid crafty observation;
And secret hung, with poison'd crust,
The dirk of defamation:
A mask that like the gorget show'd
Dye-varying, on the pigeon;
And for a mantle large and broad,
He wrapt him in Religion.
(Hypocrisy-à-la-Mode)
1Upon a simmer Sunday morn,
2 When Nature's face is fair,
3I walked forth to view the corn
4 An' snuff the caller air.
5The risin' sun owre Galston muirs
6 Wi' glorious light was glintin,
7The hares were hirplin down the furrs,
8 The lav'rocks they were chantin
9 Fu' sweet that day.
10As lightsomely I glowr'd abroad
11 To see a scene sae gay,
12Three hizzies, early at the road,
13 Cam skelpin up the way.
14Twa had manteeles o' dolefu' black,
15 But ane wi' lyart linin;
16The third, that gaed a wee a-back,
17 Was in the fashion shining
18 Fu' gay that day.
19The twa appear'd like sisters twin
20 In feature, form, an' claes;
21Their visage wither'd, lang an' thin,
22 An' sour as ony slaes.
23The third cam up, hap-step-an'-lowp,
24 As light as ony lambie,
25An' wi' a curchie low did stoop,
26 As soon as e'er she saw me,
27 Fu' kind that day.
28Wi' bonnet aff, quoth I, "Sweet lass,
29 I think ye seem to ken me;
30I'm sure I've seen that bonie face,
31 But yet I canna name ye."
32Quo' she, an' laughin as she spak,
33 An' taks me by the han's,
34"Ye, for my sake, hae gien the feck
35 Of a' the ten comman's
37"My name is Fun--your cronie dear,
38 The nearest friend ye hae;
39An' this is Superstition here,
40 An' that's Hypocrisy.
41I'm gaun to Mauchline Holy Fair,
42 To spend an hour in daffin:
43Gin ye'll go there, you runkl'd pair,
44 We will get famous laughin
45 At them this day."
46Quoth I, "With a' my heart, I'll do't:
47 I'll get my Sunday's sark on,
48An' meet you on the holy spot;
49 Faith, we'se hae fine remarkin!"
50Then I gaed hame at crowdie-time
51 An' soon I made me ready;
52For roads were clad frae side to side
53 Wi' monie a wearie body
54 In droves that day.
55Here, farmers gash, in ridin graith,
56 Gaed hoddin by their cotters,
57There swankies young, in braw braidclaith
58 Are springin owre the gutters.
59The lasses, skelpin barefit, thrang,
60 In silks an' scarlets glitter,
61Wi' sweet-milk cheese in mony a whang,
62 An' farls, bak'd wi' butter,
64When by the plate we set our nose,
65 Weel heaped up wi' ha'pence,
66A greedy glowr Black Bonnet throws,
67 An' we maun draw our tippence.
68Then in we go to see the show:
69 On ev'ry side they're gath'rin,
70Some carryin dails, some chairs an' stools,
71 An' some are busy bleth'rin
72 Right loud that day.
...
82Here some are thinkin on their sins,
83 An' some upo' their claes;
84Ane curses feet that fyl'd his shins,
85 Anither sighs an' prays:
86On this hand sits a chosen swatch,
87 Wi' screw'd-up grace-proud faces;
88On that a set o' chaps at watch,
89 Thrang winkin on the lasses
90 To chairs that day.
91O happy is that man and blest!
92 Nae wonder that it pride him!
93Whase ain dear lass that he likes best,
94 Comes clinkin down beside him!
95Wi' arm repos'd on the chair back,
96 He sweetly does compose him;
97Which by degrees slips round her neck,
98 An's loof upon her bosom,
99 Unken'd that day.
100Now a' the congregation o'er
101 Is silent expectation;
102For Moodie speels the holy door,
103 Wi' tidings o' salvation.
104Should Hornie, as in ancient days,
105 'Mang sons o' God present him,
106The vera sight o' Moodie's face
107 To's ain het hame had sent him
108 Wi' fright that day.
109Hear how he clears the points o' faith
110 Wi' rattlin an' wi' thumpin!
111Now meekly calm, now wild in wrath
112 He's stampin, an' he's jumpin!
113His lengthen'd chin, his turn'd-up snout,
114 His eldritch squeal and gestures,
115Oh, how they fire the heart devout
116 Like cantharidian plaisters,
117 On sic a day!
118But hark! the tent has chang'd its voice:
119 There's peace and rest nae langer;
120For a' the real judges rise,
121 They canna sit for anger.
122Smith opens out his cauld harangues,
123 On practice and on morals;
124An' aff the godly pour in thrangs,
125 To gie the jars an' barrels
126 A lift that day.
127What signifies his barren shine
128 Of moral pow'rs and reason?
129His English style an' gesture fine
130 Are a' clean out o' season.
131Like Socrates or Antonine
132 Or some auld pagan heathen,
133The moral man he does define,
134 But ne'er a word o' faith in
135 That's right that day.
136In guid time comes an antidote
137 Against sic poison'd nostrum;
138For Peebles, frae the water-fit,
139 Ascends the holy rostrum:
140See, up he's got the word o' God
141 An' meek an' mim has view'd it,
142While Common Sense has ta'en the road,
143 An's aff, an' up the Cowgate
144 Fast, fast that day.
145Wee Miller niest the Guard relieves,
146 An' Orthodoxy raibles,
147Tho' in his heart he weel believes
148 An' thinks it auld wives' fables:
149But faith! the birkie wants a Manse,
150 So cannilie he hums them;
151Altho' his carnal wit an' sense
152 Like hafflins-wise o'ercomes him
153 At times that day.
154Now butt an' ben the change-house fills
155 Wi' yill-caup commentators:
156Here's cryin out for bakes an gills,
157 An' there the pint-stowp clatters;
158While thick an' thrang, an' loud an' lang,
159 Wi' logic an' wi' Scripture,
160They raise a din, that in the end
161 Is like to breed a rupture
162 O' wrath that day.
163Leeze me on drink! it gies us mair
164 Than either school or college
165It kindles wit, it waukens lear,
166 It pangs us fou o' knowledge.
167Be't whisky-gill or penny-wheep,
168 Or ony stronger potion,
169It never fails, on drinkin deep,
170 To kittle up our notion
171 By night or day.
172The lads an' lasses, blythely bent
173 To mind baith saul an' body,
174Sit round the table weel content,
175 An' steer about the toddy,
176On this ane's dress an' that ane's leuk
177 They're makin observations;
178While some are cozie i' the neuk,
179 An' forming assignations
180 To meet some day.
181But now the Lord's ain trumpet touts,
182 Till a' the hills rae rairin,
183An' echoes back return the shouts--
184 Black Russell is na sparin.
185His piercing words, like highlan' swords,
186 Divide the joints an' marrow;
187His talk o' hell, whare devils dwell,
188 Our vera "sauls does harrow"
189 Wi' fright that day.
190A vast, unbottom'd, boundless pit,
191 Fill'd fou o' lowin brunstane,
192Whase ragin flame, an' scorching heat
193 Wad melt the hardest whun-stane!
194The half-asleep start up wi' fear
195 An' think they hear it roarin,
196When presently it does appear
197 'Twas but some neibor snorin,
198 Asleep that day.
199'Twad be owre lang a tale to tell,
200 How mony stories past,
201An' how they crouded to the yill,
202 When they were a' dismist:
203How drink gaed round in cogs an' caups
204 Amang the furms an' benches:
205An' cheese and bred frae women's laps
206 Was dealt about in lunches
208In comes a gausie, gash guidwife
209 An' sits down by the fire,
210Syne draws her kebbuck an' her knife;
211 The lasses they are shyer:
212The auld guidmen, about the grace
213 Frae side to side they bother,
214Till some ane by his bonnet lays,
215 And gi'es them't like a tether
216 Fu' lang that day.
217Waesucks! for him that gets nae lass,
218 Or lasses that hae naething!
219Sma' need has he to say a grace,
220 Or melvie his braw clathing!
221O wives, be mindfu' ance yoursel
222 How bonie lads ye wanted,
223An' dinna for a kebbuck-heel
224 Let lasses be affronted
225 On sic a day!
226Now Clinkumbell, wi' rattlin tow,
227 Begins to jow an' croon;
228Some swagger hame the best they dow,
229 Some wait the afternoon.
230At slaps the billies halt a blink,
231 Till lasses strip their shoon:
232Wi' faith an' hope, an' love an' drink,
233 They're a' in famous tune
235How monie hearts this day converts
236 O' sinners and o' lasses
237Their hearts o' stane, gin night, are gane
238 As saft as ony flesh is.
239There's some are fou o' love divine,
240 There's some are fou o' brandy;
241An' monie jobs that day begin,
242 May end in houghmagandie
243 Some ither day.
Notes
1] Burns says: "Holy Fair is a common phrase in the West of Scotland for a Sacramental occasion." Large numbers came from a considerable distance to these services, often bringing with them supplies for the day; so that it was a sort of religious picnic, resembling somewhat the old-fashioned camp-meeting on this continent. There was preaching outside the church, sometimes in a tent, while the communion service was going on within the sacred building. The preachers here described were real persons, and the details are no doubt realistic, though coloured by the satirical purpose. (Asterisks were used instead of names in the Kilmarnock edition.)
simmer: summer.
4] caller: fresh.
5] Galston: in Ayrshire in the neighbourhood of Burns's home.
7] hirplin: hopping.
furrs: furrows.
8] lav'rocks: larks.
10] glowr'd: stared.
12] hizzies: hussies.
13] skelpin: hurrying.
15] lyart: grey.
22] slaes: sloes.
23] lowp: leap.
25] curchie: curtsey.
34] feck: the greater part.
36] screed: rip, rent.
41] Mauchline: the nearest village to Burns's home.
42] daffin: sport.
43] runkl'd: wrinkled.
47] sark: shirt.
50] crowdie-time: porridge-time.
55] gash: self-complacent.
graith: gear.
56] hoddin: jogging (in their carts).
57] swankies: strapping fellows.
59] thrang: thronging.
61] whang: slice.
62] farls: small oat-cakes.
63] crump: crisp.
66] black-bonnet. The elder who stood at the door with a plate for the collection, wore a black bonnet.
70] dails: boards.
71] bleth'rin: gabbling.
84] fyl'd: soiled, defiled.
86] swatch: sample.
89] thrang: busy.
94] clinkin: indicates quick motion.
98] loof: palm of the hand.
102] Moodie: the Rev. Alexander Moodie of Riccarton.
speels: climbs.
106] Reference to Job, I: 6.
114] eldritch: unearthly.
122] Smith: the Rev. George Smith of Gaston.
131] Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher. the author of the Meditations.
138] Peebles: the Rev. William Peebles.
water-fit: water-foot, i.e., mouth of a river; here, Newton-on-Ayr.
141] mim: prim.
143] Cowgate: name of the street which led from the church at Mauchline.
145] Miller: the Rev. Alexander Miller.
niest: next.
146] raibles: recites by rote.
149] birkie: fellow.
150] cannilie: quietly and cunningly.
hums: humbugs.
152] Like hafflins-wise: nearly half.
154] A Scottish cottage had two main rooms, the kitchen, or but, and the parlour, or ben. The change-house (tavern) was completely filled.
155] yill-caup: ale-cup.
156] bakes and gills: biscuits and glasses of liquor.
157] stowp: a drinking-vessel.
163] Leeze me: A blessing on.
165] lear: learning.
166] pangs: crams.
167] penny-wheep: small beer.
170] kittle: tickle.
175] steer: stir.
178] neuk: nook, corner.
181] touts: sounds.
182] rairin: roaring.
188] The words in quotation marks are borrowed from Hamlet, I, v, 14.
191] fou: full.
lowing brunstone: flaming brimstone.
203] cogs: wooden vessels larger than caups (cups).
207] dauds: large pieces.
208] gaucie: jolly.
210] kebbuck: cheese.
215] tether: rope.
220] melvie: make dusty.
226] Clinkumbell: the bell-ringer.
rattlin tow: rattling rope, i.e., a chain.
227] jow and croon: swing and toll.
228] dow: can.
230] slaps: openings in the hedges.
billies: fellows.
234] crack: talk.
237] gin night: by nightfall.
242] houghmagandie: immorality.
Online text copyright © 2009, Ian Lancashire (the Department of English) and the University of Toronto.
Published by the Web Development Group, Information Technology Services, University of Toronto Libraries.
Original text: Robert Burns, Poems, Chiefly in the Scottish Dialect (Kilmarnock, 1786). PR 4300 1786a K5a SMR. (Edinburgh, 1797.) B-10 0051 Fisher Rare Book Library (Toronto).
First publication date:
1786
RPO poem editor: G. G. Falle
RP edition: 3RP 2.305
Recent editing: 4:2002/3/15
Composition date:
1785
Rhyme: ababcdcde
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