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ANONYMOUS (1100-1945)

The Masque of B-ll--l


MASTER


              1First come I. My name is J-W-TT.
              2There's no knowledge but I know it.
              3I am Master of this College,
              4What I don't know isn't knowledge.

FELLOWS

J. L. S. D.

              5STR-CH-N D-V-DS-N am I, the lean
              6Unbuttoned, cigaretted Dean,
              7Brother numismatists, you see a
              8Historian in a Dahabeeah.

T. K. C.

              9I am CH-YNE: I confess
            10That I love a deaconess;
            11I can wed without misgiving
            12Now I've got a college living.

R. L. N.

            13Roughly, so to say, you know,
            14I am N-TTL-SH-P or so;
            15You are gated after Hall,
            16That's all. I mean that's nearly all.

R. G. T.
            17Here am I, the often sat on
            18Dancing don; my name is T-TT-N;
            19Like old wine in a new bottle
            20Is my talk on Aristotle.

W. H. F.

            21O, I say, I once was F-RB-S,
            22Now the Master me absorbs,
            23Me and many other me's
            24In his great Thucydides.

E. A.

            25I am ABB-TT: where I go
            26My man Tom must go also,
            27He on foot, I in my chair;
            28But that's neither here nor there.

A. C. B.

            29I'm BR-DL-Y, and I bury deep
            30`A secret that no man can keep.'
            31If you won't let the Master know it,
            32Or F-RB-S, I'll tell you, -- I'm a poet.

F. DE P.

            33What an oddity am I,
            34Little cynic P-R-VI,
            35Virgil I can shrilly render
            36Cock-a-hoop upon the fender.

TUTORS AND LECTURERS

Not on the Foundation


A. L. S.
            37 I am little SM-TH, who glances
            38On disorganized finances;
            39Who'd have looked for so much vigour
            40In so very small a figure?

A. T.

            41What finance and trade and coin be
            42Learn of me, for I am Toynbee:
            43GR--N and I our faith have plighted
            44To a sepulchre re-whited.

A. J. G.

            45GR-H-ME am I, so calm, so bright,
            46The scholar's peer, the don's delight.
            47`I have developed no defect
            48Of either' but their grace elect.

C. A. J.

            49I am Truthful J-M-S, whose bent
            50Eyebrows look astonishment;
            51J-M-S and eyebrows you may sever;
            52J-M-S and anecdotage never.

P. E. M.
            53Upright and shrewd, more woo'd of fame
            54Than wooing, M-TH-S-N'S my name;
            55I'm not what you would call intense,
            56But I've uncommon common sense.

J. A. H.

            57I am H-M-LT-N; my mission
            58Is to be a politician;
            59Judicious love of Art refines
            60The paragon of Philistines.

A. J. F. A.

            61I'm AD-MS, once a Wesleyan,
            62By G-D'S just wrath a Balliol man;
            63I'd rather dig the ground in dolour
            64Than be a mathematical scholar.

HONORARY SCHOLAR

J. W. M.

            65From D-wks and Ch-tty at my tail
            66You'll syllogize that I'm M-CK-L;
            67In all I do I score always,
            68In all I say -- à l'écossaise.

EXHIBITIONERS

(Snell)

A. N. C.

            69I am C-MM-NG. I inveigle
            70Everyone to talk of Hegel;
            71Mr. Ruskin would have sobbed on
            72Seeing the motto of my Cobden.

(Jenkyns)

F. C. M.

            73Old tips come out as good as new
            74From me, for I am M-NT-GUE;
            75With head aslant I softly cram
            76The world into an epigram.

(Open)

H. C. C. M.

            77An anti-everything-you-list,
            78Insipid epigrammatist,
            79Of eccentricity I'm proud,
            80A human artichoke, M-CL--D.

C. A. S. R.

            81Can story-telling be a vice
            82When you've an uncle like SPR-NG R-CE?
            83My versatility is such
            84None likes me little, or knows me much.

H. C. B.

            85I am the apostle B--CH-NG,
            86Busby and Burne-Jones my teaching;
            87I write poems; but one saith
            88My poems are a form of death.

L. H.

            89I am H--L-Y, blond and merry,
            90Fond of jokes and laughter, very:
            91If I laughed at what was witty,
            92I should laugh less, which were pity.

(Minor)

J. M. M.

            93Red my head, and blue my tie,
            94Soft my speech, for I'm M-CK-Y;
            95Aphrodeety may be dead,
            96But we've N-CH-LS-N instead.

G. H. B.

            97Like the gurgling brook that patters by
            98Flows my speech, for I am B-TT-RSBY;
            99Never swan nor yet giraffe
          100Had so GRAND a throat by half.

S. L. L.

          101I am featly-tripping L-E,
          102Learned in modern history,
          103My gown, the wonder of beholders
          104Hangs like a foot-note from my shoulders.

COMMONERS

H. E. B.

          105Waifs and strays I, B--LT-N, edit,
          106And my ballads do me credit,
          107I'm in everything that's going,
          108I know everyone worth knowing.

G. N. C.

          109I am a most superior person, Mary,
          110My name is G--RGE N-TH-N--L C-RZ-N, Mary,
          111I'll make a speech on any political question of the day, Mary,
          112Provided you'll not say me nay, Mary.

B. M.

          113Spoken jest of STR-CH-Y, shall it
          114Not arouse a smile in M-LL-T?
          115Thro' my eyelids softly peeping
          116Like as one that walketh sleeping.

G.
L. S. B.
C.

          117Brothers twain but single-hearted,
          118Not in rhyme shall we be parted,
          119SCL-T-R- B--TH and SCL-T-R- B--TH,
          120Leviathan and Behemoth.

C. E. D.

          121Positivists ever talk in s-
          122Uch an epic style as D-WK-NS;
          123Creeds are nought and M-N is all,
          124Spell Him with a capital.

L. F. S.

          125I am L-CY; when I play
          126Bliss and D-WK-NS flee away.
          127Art and orthodoxy wait
          128On my Archbiaconate.

R. W. S.

          129'Tis not by feeding tea and shrimps on
          130That you'd become as thin as S-MPS-N:
          131You might by trying to defer
          132So obstinate a questioner.

A. C. G. D.

          133I'm GR-NT D-FF, with much misgiving
          134Whether life be worth the living;
          135Yet there's a balm in Gilead, should a
          136Friend be brought to talk of Buddha.

C. J. J.

          137Out of the way, for I am J-SS-L,
          138You'll find you are the weaker vessel;
          139But as I occupy the ground
          140You have your choice, so which way round?

J. C. E. B.

          141I am BR-NS-N; Nature's laws
          142Govern all things; some first cause
          143May exist, but I don't know;
          144It's Nature makes my whiskers grow.

J. B. B. N.

          145Mark the subtle smile that trickles
          146Down the sphinx-like face of N-CH-LS;
          147My hair is black, my china blue,
          148My Botticellis fifty-two.

A. C.

          149I am AB-L C-SS-M Khan,
          150In my grave sweet way I scan
          151Western life. My thoughts would fill a
          152Book if written out. Bismillah.

G. G. R.

          153Faultless I from brim to sole,
          154Coat and gloves and buttonhole;
          155High-souled Brummel, touched, had wept on
          156Seeing me, for I am R-PT-N.

S. B.

          157No poor Britisher is nearly
          158Half so fine a man as BR-RL-Y;
          159But I cheerfully acknowledge
          160Harvard's whipped by B-LL--L College.

Notes

1] In 1880, seven mischievous undergraduates at Balliol College, Oxford, published The Masque of B-ll--l, a broadsheet of forty quatrains making light of their superiors -- the Master and selected Fellows, Scholars, and Commoners -- and themselves. The outraged authorities immediately suppressed the collection, and only a few copies survived, three of which found their way into the College Library over the years, and one into the Bodleian Library. William Tuckwell included 18 of these quatrains in his Reminiscences in 1900, but they all came out only in 1939, thanks to Walter George Hiscock, an Oxford librarian, who issued them personally then and in a second edition in 1955.
Hiscock based his later edition on the Library copies, as well as on copies by three of the original writers, H. C. Beeching, J. W. Mackail, and J. A. Hamilton, Lord Sumner, and on two partial lists, one by a fourth author, C. A. Spring-Rice, and the other by Robert Scott, a subsequent Master of the College.
Hiscock used manuscript annotations on several of these copies to attribute the forty quatrains to their supposed authors. Henry Charles Beeching (1859-1919), future Dean of Norwich, wrote or co-wrote nineteen (1, 4-8, 11, 14-18, 21-22, 24, 26, 28, 36, and perhaps 40); and John William Mackail (1859-1945), future Fellow (1882-91) and Professor of Poetry at Oxford (1906-11), wrote or co-wrote fifteen (9-10, 13, 15, 18-19, 25, 31, 33-34, 37-39, and perhaps 3 and 32). Eight were authored or co-authored by the remaining five: John Andrew Hamilton, Lord Somner (2, 20, 35), Percy Ewing Matheson (1859-1946), Fellow of New College (1881-1946; 11), John Bowyer Buchanan Nichols (23, and perhaps 29-30), Lucius Frederick Smith, future Bishop Suffragan of Knaresborough (3?), and Cecil Arthur Spring-Rice (1859-1918), later knighted and made British Ambassador to the United States. Beeching and Spring-Rice published verse collections of their own, and Mackail translated the Greek Anthology and the Odyssey.
The best of these quatrains -- 1, 3, 6, 13, 20, 22, 26-27, 35, and 38 among them -- skewer the arrogance and silliness of Academe at all places and times, not just their named targets in one (admittedly brilliant) Oxford College. Beeching, Hamilton, Mackail, Matheson, Nichols, Smith, and Spring-Rice did to college life what Alexander Pope did to Grub Street.

J-W-TT: Benjamin Jowett (1817-93), M.A., and Master, Balliol College (1870 to 1893); translator of Aristotle, Thucydides, and Plato, and writer of essays and sermons.

5] James Leigh Strachan Davidson (1844-1916), Fellow (1866-1907), Master (1907-16). J. W. Mackail wrote James Leigh Strachan-Davidson, Master of Balliol, a memoir (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1925).

8] a Dahabeeah: a Nile-River boat.

9] Thomas Kelly Cheyne (1841-1915), Fellow and Chaplain (1868-1882), Oriel professor of the interpretation of Scripture at Oxford (1885-1908), English cleric and critic, editor, and translator of the Bible.

13] Richard Lewis Nettleship (1846-1892), Fellow (1869-92), and writer on Plato.

15] gated after Hall: confined to College precincts after dinner.

17] Robert Grey Tatton, Fellow (1872-1887).

21] William Henry Forbes (1851-1914), Fellow (1873-1896), and editor of Book I of Thucidides.

25] Evelyn Abbott (1843-1901), Fellow (1874-1901), scholar of Greek and editor of Jowett's letters.

29] Andrew Cecil Bradley (1851-1935), Fellow (1874-76), Lecturer (1876-81), and critic of English poetry, Tennyson, and Shakespeare (especially his Shakespearean Tragedy).

33] Francis de Paravicini, baron, Fellow (1878-1908). His wife Frances, the baroness, authored The Early history of Balliol College (1891; information courtesy of Geoffrey Neate).

37] Arthur Lionel Smith (1850-1924), Tutor and Fellow (1879-1916), Master (1916-24), a medieval English historian.

41] Arnold Toynbee (1852-1883), Tutor and Fellow (1878-1883), and English historian. His nephew was Arnold Joseph Toynbee (1889-1975), author of A Study of History.

43] GR--N: Toynbee edited Thomas Hill Green's The Witness of God, and Faith; two lay sermons (London, Longmans, 1891).

45] Archibald John Grahame, B.A. (1882).

47] Quoting Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem, "The Witch of Atlas", stanza XXXVI, lines 329-36:

A sexless thing it was, and in its growth It seemed to have developed no defect Of either sex, yet all the grace of both, -- In gentleness and strength its limbs were decked; The bosom swelled lightly with its full youth, The countenance was such as might select Some artist that his skill should never die, Of either' but their grace elect. Imaging forth such perfect purity.

49] Charles Ashworth James (died 1937), Fellow of Hertford College (1881-92), author of an 1893 report on mining royalties.

53] Percy Ewing Matheson (1859-1946), Fellow of New College (1881-1946), Roman historian, editor of Demosthenes and Epictetus Epictetus, and translator of Anton Reiser by Carl Philipp Moritz.

57] John Andrew Hamilton, later Baron Sumner (1913), Fellow of Magdalene College (1882-89).

61] Alfred John French Adams, B.A. (1881), died 1898.

65] John William Mackail (1859-1945), Fellow (1882-91), Professor of Poetry, Oxford University (1906-11), O.M. (1935), translator of the Greek Anthology and the Odyssey, critic of S. T. Coleridge and William Morris, editor of Virgil, and literary historian of Greek and Latin literature.

68] à l'écossaise: in the way of the Scots.

69] Alexander Neilson Cumming, B.A. (1882).

70] Hegel: Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831), German philosopher.

71] Mr. Ruskin: John Ruskin (1819-1900), English essayist and reformer.

72] Cobden: Cumming won the Cobden Prize in 1880 (for an essay).

73] Francis Charles Montague (1858-1935), Fellow of Oriel College (1881), English legal and constitutional historian.

77] Henry Crawford Crichton Macleod (1857-), B.A. (1881).

81] Sir Cecil Arthur Spring-Rice (1859-1918), author of Poems (London: Longmans, Green, 1920). See also The Letters and Friendships of Sir Cecil Spring Rice: a Record, ed. Stephen Gwynn (Boston: Houghton, 1929). British ambassador to the United States.

85] Henry Charles Beeching (1859-1919), Dean of Norwich (1911), author of Lyra Sacra: a Book of Religious Verse (London: Methuen, 1895), and of editions of Milton, Tennyson, Vaughan, and other English poets.

86] Busby and Burne-Jones: Beeching had won the Busby Theological Prize (Hiscock, 15); Sir Edward Coley Burne-Jones (1833-98), English painter.

89] Leonard Huxley (1860-1933), B.A. (1883), the son of Thomas Henry Huxley, "Darwin's bulldog," editor of the explorer R. F. Scott's last journals, and of letters by his father, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Jane Carlyle, Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker.

93] John Macdonald Mackay, Professor of History, University College, Liverpool (1884-1914). See A Miscellany Presented to John Macdonald Mackay, LL.D., July, 1914 (Liverpool: University Press, 1914).

95] Aphrodeety: Aphrodite, Venus.

96] "Nicholson was a friend of Mackay's, an artist, who was then living in Oxford" (Hiscock, 16).

97] George Harford Battersby.

101] Solomon Lazarus Levi (1859-1926), or (as Benjamin Jowatt urged him to sign himself) Sidney Lee, editor of The Dictionary of National Biography (1891-1901) and of Shakespeare, and literary historian of the English Renaissance. He was knighted in 1911.

105] Harold Edwin Boulton (1859-1935), Director of Burt, Boulton (timber merchants), and co-editor of Songs of the North, gathered together from the highlands and lowlands of Scotland, with A.C. Macleod; and of Our National Songs, with Arthur Somervell.
Waifs and strays: an undergraduate verse journal then in Oxford.

109] George Nathaniel Curzon (1859-1925), later Earl, M.P., Viceroy of India, Chancellor, University of Oxford, statesman (undersecretary of state for India, 1891-92, and undersecretary for foreign affairs, 1895-98), and author of books on India, Persia, and Russia. As foreign secretary in the Asquith cabinet (1919-24), Curzon presided over the Conference of Lausanne. Curzon "had written in verse that he was joined to a suppositious Mary by a seal (sigillum)" (Hiscock, 19).

113] Sir Bernard Mallet (1859-1932), Registrar-General (1909) and author of a three-volume set on British budgets.

117] George Limbrey Sclater Booth (1860-1919), later Lord Basing, and Charles Lutley Sclater Booth (-1957).

120] Behemoth: monstrous beast.

121] Clinton Edward Dawkins, civil servant, later Sir (1859-1905).

125] Lucius Frederick Moses Bottomley Smith, Bishop Suffragan of Knaresborough (1905).

126] "Bliss was the Scout on that staircase" (Hiscock, 21).

128] Archbiaconate: a play on `arch-diaconate,' the head of deacons.

129] Reginald Wynne Simpson, B.A. (1883).

133] Arthur Cuninghame Grant Duff.

135] a balm in Gilead: "Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there?" (Jer. 8.22).

137] Charles James Jessel, later a Baronet (1883).

141] James Charles Emerton Branson, I.C.S.

145] John Bowyer Buchanan Nichols, graduated 1879.

148] Bottocellis: paintings of Sando Botticelli (1444?-1510).

149] Aboul Kassem Khan Nasserul-Moulk, Sir, Premier of Persia (1911).

152] Bismillah: "In the name of Allah or God" (Arabic Muslim exclamation).

153] Guy George Repton, B.A. (1884).

155] Brummel: Beau Brummel (1778-1840), an English dandy.

157] Samuel Brearley, died 1887.


Online text copyright © 2009, Ian Lancashire (the Department of English) and the University of Toronto.
Published by the Web Development Group, Information Technology Services, University of Toronto Libraries.

Original text: The Balliol Rhymes, ed. W. G. Hiscock, 2nd edn. (1939; Oxford: printed for the editor, 1955): 1-25. PN 6110 C7H5 Robarts Library
First publication date: 1881
Publication date note: The Masque of B-ll--l (1881). Balliol Library; Bodleian Library.
RPO poem editor: Ian Lancashire
RP edition: 2001
Recent editing: 1:2002/10/12*1:2004/6/6

Composition date: 1881
Form: quatrains
Rhyme: aabb


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